The Corpse Goddess

The Corpse Goddess

By Kristi Jones

Genre:Urban Fantasy

Publisher: Evernight Publishing

ASIN:B008EZXJ7E

Number of pages: 274

Word Count: 79,034

Blurb/Book Description:

Party girl Meg Highbury wakes up the morning of her twenty-first birthday with one hell of a hangover – and a walking corpse in her apartment. Meg turns to her straight-laced neighbor Armando for help and together they discover that Meg is a Valkyrie.

What’s more, her first duty is to trade places with the corpse. But Meg is being sent to her Death Duty too soon. In a race against time, Meg frantically tries to find a loophole to her gruesome fate, but while Meg is determined to live whatever the cost, Armando's strict moral principles keep getting in the way of her plans for escape.

Can Meg walk the 'right' and narrow path, possibly sacrificing her mortal life, for love? And if she can, will Armando have the stomach to love a rotting corpse of a girl who is falling apart in more ways than one?

Evernight Publishing

Amazon

Author Bio:

Kristi Jones spent her childhood exploring European castles, crumbling manor houses and ornate cathedrals, always looking for secret passages and hidden rooms. She holds a degree in European history and loves to throw ‘ordinary’ characters into extraordinary circumstances.

She currently lives in south Texas with her husband and two children, who inspire her daily. She is a member of the Writers’ League of Texas and Romance Writers of America. She loves old movies, being a Mom, the feel of paper in her hands and things that go bump in the night.

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EXCERPT – 812 words

“You don't know her, Armando.” A sticky, slimy substance filled Meg’s mouth. She swallowed, put a hand to her chest, willing herself not to throw up. She made her own skin crawl, thinking about what was going on inside her body. It took a minute, but the taste in her mouth dissipated. She went on. “She's the only person who could have sent the book. There isn't anyone else in my life, don't you get that? She wanted me to read it and call up this, this, thing. And I hate her for it.”

And the dam broke. She couldn’t fight the tears. Her shoulders heaved, and she sank back down onto the bed, surrendering to the tears and the anguish and the pain. She sobbed in great wracking jerks and heaves. A small inner voice muttered, “get it under control, girl, you're making a fool of yourself”, but the emotions were too strong.

Armando sat beside her, his hand on her back. Meg focused on the weight of his hand, the warmth and the life of it. She closed her eyes and focused all her senses on that hand. She pictured it in her mind. She wondered if he tasted like salt. She held onto the image of Armando's hand, flushed with blood and warm in the sun, until all thoughts of rot and death receded.

“It’s okay, Meg. It’ll be okay,” Armando said. He removed his hand, but remained seated beside her.

“It isn’t fair, you know,” Meg said, keeping her eyes closed. “I haven’t done anything. I’ve wasted so much time, partying and stuff. Funny thing is, I used to look at you and think you were wasting your life.”

“Yeah, I kinda knew that.”

“I should have been studying and learning. Maybe if I’d been studying, been focused on school, I never would have gone to the cemetery.”

“I don’t know about that. It was your twenty-first birthday. I didn’t spend my twenty-first birthday studying.”

It was Meg’s turn to arch an eyebrow. “You didn’t?”

“Of course not. Contrary to what you might think, Meg, I do have a social life. It just doesn’t involve drugs and gallons of alcohol.”

Meg bristled at this, but decided to let it pass. He was right, she supposed, but it didn’t make it any less embarrassing.

“Anyway, curiosity isn’t something you can cure with schoolwork.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing that you like to push the envelope.”

“Maybe,” Meg said. She wasn’t sure what Armando was trying to say, but she knew he was trying to make her feel better about calling up her own death buddy.

“Besides, you’ve had lots of experiences. I’m pretty sure you’ve done tons of things I haven’t done.”

“That’s the kicker, Armando,” Meg said, turning to face him. “I haven’t. I haven’t done anything but drink and laugh at stupid jokes. I’ve gotten drunk and high and puked in my kitchen sink, but that’s not exactly a bucket list. I’ve never loved anybody. I’ve never gone sky diving or driven a race car. Christ, the worst part is, I’m not even good at being a party girl. I haven’t jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge or gone bungee jumping.”

“We don’t live anywhere near the Brooklyn Bridge.”

“That’s not the point. I’m just saying I haven’t lived yet.” Meg pointed at the corpse in the room. “I’m about to turn into moldy cheese, and I haven’t lived yet. A Valkyrie, whatever the fuck that is, is supposed to get one lifetime right? Well, doesn’t a lifetime include certain things? Marriage, kids, adventures.”

“You want kids?”

“I don't know. Probably not. But I'd like the chance to decide.”

“Right. Makes sense.”

He was looking uncomfortable with Meg’s talk of kids and marriage. Armando, who appeared completely at ease with bodily fluids, farts and personal belief systems, was acting like the typical commitment-phobe.

“Don’t worry, Armando. I’m not asking you to marry me or have kids with me. I’m just saying, I think I deserve all that, you know?”

Armando nodded, but his eyes were unfocused. He was thinking of something else.

Meg shifted away. Her stomach was roiling again, and she was afraid she might fart. The stench of Cousin Ed clearly still bothered him, and suddenly she didn’t want to disgust Armando. She realized with a sort of dawning wonder that she wanted him to like her.

She could feel the heat of his leg against hers, but she kept her eyes on the floor. Her shoes were off, and she noticed that her toenails were turning blue. Fighting off another eruption of the despicable tears, she thought about asking him to get her a drink or something – anything to lessen the tension between them – when the bedroom door clicked open. Meg and Armando broke apart like startled lovers.

My Review:

I really enjoyed reading The Corpse Goddess, although zombies aren't usually my thing. I wish there would have been a little more blush worthy moments through out the book. Kristi Jones didn't hold back on The Corpse Goddess, I found my self laughing and crying through out this book, I hope to be able to read more about Meg and Armando.

Meg is a college student who wanted to get away from her non-loving parents. One morning she woke up in her studio apartment and little did she know but her whole life was about to change. A zombie has shown up after a night of playing seance's in the cemetery, when Meg goes to the only person she can think of for help, her neighbor, Armando is more than willing to help.

Soon Meg starts experiencing some body changes that aren't looking too good. Armando does the first thing he can think of: He takes her to his father the Doctor.

When Meg realizes what she is and what she is becoming she goes to her least favorite people of all, her parents. Her parents weren't very sympathetic to her situation, in fact they knew about it all along and couldn't wait for her transformation to happen. For Meg, this was all very traumatizing, she needed to find away to be herself again.

So with the help of her besties, Armando, and Dr. Gonzalez, she was determine to find away out of this curse that she had unknowingly started. However, by doing this she may lose the one person who really cares for her.

The Corpse Goddess Music Play List

Changes by David Bowie

All This and Heaven Too by Florence and the Machine

Monsters by Matchbook Romance

When We Were Young by The Killers

Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N Roses

99 Problems by Hugo

Demons by Imagine Dragons

Ain't No Grave by Johnny Cash

Dead! by My Chemical Romance

Carry Me Down by Demon Hunter

Gravedigger by Willie Nelson

Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner